Breaking News: Interview Transcript - DMills Virginity Lost

A buddy of mine works for CNN so he has some political connections and after pressing the right buttons I got him to lend me a copy of the first ever interview with the girl who took DMills virginity in 2002 under the condition that her name not be released.  Here ya go..

CNN: So.. what was it like?

Girl: Uhh, well, have you ever had angel hair pasta with white wine sauce?

CNN: That's a favorite of mine.

Girl: I can't say the same anymore..

CNN: When was the exact moment that you knew you wanted to be his first.

Girl: To clarify, I'm still not sure if I'm his first.  Again, for all I knew I was sitting on top of a pile of lasagna but ever since elementary school lunch it seemed like we had a connection.  He was always very nice in the cafeteria.  Since he was 11 years old he's had the same hairdoo, reminded me a little of Elvis and he was pretty tall so I thought he could really pack a punch if ya know what I mean.  Anyway there was this one night, Hillsdale Hanukah Festival, when we had a latka eating contest and let me tell you.. few sights get me off like a man shoving latkas down his throat with apple sauce pouring down his shirt.

CNN: So that was the moment.

Girl: Yeah, pretty much.

CNN: So how exactly did it happen?

Girl: It was a saturday night I remember, his older brother was having a party at his house.  After a few games of kings we started fooling around a little bit.  I really wasn't expecting much to happen but within 10 seconds off came his pants and there staring at me was an exact replica of Buddha only if he was 6'3''.  I don't really want to get into more detail but, yeah, you get the picture.

CNN: We sure do.  So do you regret it?

Girl: Honestly... no.  He really is a sweet guy, he's a lot cooler than his brother, and he has a lot of really cool hot friends from Michigan.

CNN: Will you ever eat italian food again.

Girl: Unfortunately, no.